Clik here to view.
Aston Villa Preview
‘Yeah, so they have offered me a new contract, which is fantastic. I’m going to go in and sign it on Monday. You’re stripes.’ ‘Woah, steady on son. Are you […]
View ArticleClik here to view.
Aston Villa 0 Everton 2
So, David Moyes and Alex Ferguson decide to have a game of darts this time. Not really, simmer down. Everton’s early-season hot streak continued thanks to a great performance from […]
View ArticleClik here to view.
Tottenham Hotspur Preview
In a completely transparent bid to drum up interest and provoke controversy in a publication that nobody really reads we approached Russell Brand to guest edit This Is Not Football […]
View ArticleClik here to view.
Everton 0 Tottenham Hotspur 0
As we vainly looked for a decent ending to the preview we fell back on the tried and trusted ‘should be a cracker’, a statement that managed to be simultaneously […]
View ArticleClik here to view.
Crystal Palace 0 Everton 0
You have probably gathered already that the lack of a preview for this game was in fact an achingly post-post-modern comment on a match in which almost nothing of any […]
View ArticleClik here to view.
Stoke City Preview
Ok, first thing’s first, as we said the other day, a big chunk of this was going to be about Leighton Baines and the various permutations available to cover for […]
View ArticleClik here to view.
Everton 4 Stoke City 0
First of all, an apology. Last week, while musing on how Roberto Martinez would cope with the absence of Leighton Baines, we deduced that Bryan Oviedo’s absence from the derby […]
View ArticleClik here to view.
Swansea Preview
‘The English language is the wall that divides us, and ‘fuck’ is my chisel’ – Tommy Tiernan, 2008 Right then, Swansea City away. It’s going to be a short one […]
View ArticleClik here to view.
Sunderland and Southampton and That
The games are officially coming all Darren Huckerby now – that’s right, ‘thick and fast’ – so once again we adopt the lazy-arse scattergun approach of talking about what’s going […]
View ArticleClik here to view.
Norwich City Preview
Thanks for all the messages informing us that a raw, unfiltered version of this preview was released onto the market in error on Thursday night. Rumours have it that a […]
View ArticleClik here to view.
Everton 2 Norwich City 0
Welcome to Goodison Park. Wipe your feet and leave the points at the door. Chris Hughton’s Norwich were simply the latest in a long line of barbecue-coated Christians thrown to […]
View ArticleClik here to view.
West Bromwich Albion Preview
‘First they came for the Geordies and I did not speak up, because I was not a Geordie. Then they came for that terrifying kid who supported Leeds and was […]
View ArticleClik here to view.
Liverpool 4 Everton 0
Is it safe to look yet? Have they stopped scoring? Just where do you start with a night like that? Continue reading →
View ArticleClik here to view.
Everton 2 Aston Villa 1
Winning this game probably isn’t that significant in the big sweep of things. Losing though, that would have felt catastrophic, Continue reading →
View ArticleClik here to view.
Chelsea Preview (and Swansea and that)
Apart from mad twattings, open goal misses by Hugo Rodallega and hilarious Steven Caldwell mishaps at the back, Roberto Martinez’s Wigan Athletic sides were chiefly known for coming on strong towards...
View Article